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EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

 

8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

 

9:30 a.m. Wow! A car ride! This is a blast!

 

9:40 a.m. A walk in the park! Ate some crap...Delicious!

 

10:30 a.m. Getting rubbed and petted! I'm in love!

 

12:00 p.m. Lunch! Yummy!

 

1:00 p.m. Playing in the yard! I just love it!

 

3:00 p.m. Staring adoringly at my masters...they're the best! I'll wag my tail in joy.

 

4:00 p.m. Hooray! The kids are home! I'm bouncing off the walls!

 

5:00 p.m. Milk bones! Great!

 

7:00 p.m. Get to play ball! This is too good to be true!

 

8:00 p.m. Wow! Watching TV with my master! Heavenly!

 

11:00 p.m. Sleeping at the bottom of my master's bed! Life is soooooooo great!

 

 

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

 

Day 683 of My Captivity:

 

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

 

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor.

 

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ''good little hunter'' I am. The audacity!! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

 

However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

 

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow-- but at the top of the stairs.

 

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and he seems more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded.

 

The bird has got to be an informant-- I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe........ for now.

 

 


Rachel

sw-227(May 05)

rsw 182

cw 176.2 (12/14)

wwgw-155

pgw 145-150

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

one day at a time

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way too funnny....i love it


Fatima AKA Smylin_Atcha

:p

ya ya name: Queen Horny Toad Smurf name: Hootchie Smurfette

sw:270 cw:190.6 79.4 lbs destroyed:bcbsalute

Faith is the ability to know u will survive the panic. Rosie O'Donnell

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Lol, funny!


  • HW-142 CW-118
  • Success is not built on success. It's built on failure. It's built on frustration. Sometimes its built on catastrophe.--Sumner Redstone

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