Jump to content
Health Discovery Network
Sign in to follow this  
Illinois Kathy

Because I'm a man

Recommended Posts

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in.

______________________________________________

 

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very

well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then have a beer.

______________________________________________

 

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

_____________________________________________

 

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys cumin is a spice)

_______________________________________________

 

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

________________________________________________

 

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

________________________________________________

 

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars, or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

_______________________________________________

 

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

_______________________________________________

 

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

_______________________________________________

 

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

_______________________________________________

 

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2004, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.


***************<br />Kathy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Too funny!


~Lisa

HW 209

SW 199

CW 178.0

GW 153.0

*********

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

~Buddha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, I just read the whole thing to DH and for some strange reason, he didn't think it was funny.

Is it because...

He's a man? lol

 

~Sandi


~Sandi~ :salut

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

funny.gif

 

All too true!!! :D


Joanna :headover:

 

Ya-Ya Name ~Princess Sparrow Hawk ~

 

Recommitted 2-13-04 ~ Lifetime since 9-11-90

Heaviest weight ~ 135.6 ~ Recommit weight ~ 135.6 (2-13-04)

Current weight ~ 120.9 (8-27-04)

 

WW goal ~ 105, My goal ~ 99 :goal: (my weight when I made lifetime - I'm 4' 11" tall!!) :D

 

 

 

~~~ "Nothing's forgotten. Nothing is ever forgotten." ~~~ Robin of Sherwood

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ahhhhhhh! So true! :D


Grainne

 

3/16/02- Made WW Lifetime

4'11"...SW 176lbs CW 154 lbs WGW 115

Rejoining weight 11/17 154 lbs

 

 

weight.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.