Illinois Kathy 0 Posted January 31, 2004 Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in. ______________________________________________ Â Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then have a beer. ______________________________________________ Â Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem. _____________________________________________ Â Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys cumin is a spice) _______________________________________________ Â Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. ________________________________________________ Â Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator). ________________________________________________ Â Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars, or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask. _______________________________________________ Â Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too. _______________________________________________ Â Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. _______________________________________________ Â Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? _______________________________________________ Â Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2004, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. ***************<br />Kathy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ginaki 0 Posted January 31, 2004 :rolleyes: Lifetimer since April 2001 195/135/150WW Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs Peterson 0 Posted April 29, 2004 Too funny! ~Lisa HW 209 SW 199 CW 178.0 GW 153.0 ********* Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. ~Buddha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dalensandi 0 Posted April 29, 2004 Ok, I just read the whole thing to DH and for some strange reason, he didn't think it was funny. Is it because... He's a man? lol  ~Sandi ~Sandi~ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
foxfieldco 0 Posted April 30, 2004  All too true!!! Joanna  Ya-Ya Name ~Princess Sparrow Hawk ~  Recommitted 2-13-04 ~ Lifetime since 9-11-90 Heaviest weight ~ 135.6 ~ Recommit weight ~ 135.6 (2-13-04) Current weight ~ 120.9 (8-27-04)  WW goal ~ 105, My goal ~ 99 (my weight when I made lifetime - I'm 4' 11" tall!!)    ~~~ "Nothing's forgotten. Nothing is ever forgotten." ~~~ Robin of Sherwood Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Medb48 0 Posted May 2, 2004 Ahhhhhhh! So true! Grainne  3/16/02- Made WW Lifetime 4'11"...SW 176lbs CW 154 lbs WGW 115 Rejoining weight 11/17 154 lbs   Share this post Link to post Share on other sites