Worry

[RedLeslie 10]

Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for

their own actions?

 

Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators

in the lives of their children and shrug, 'It's their life,' and feel

nothing?

 

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for

doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, 'When do you

stop worrying?'

 

The nurse said, 'When they get out of the accident stage.'

 

My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

 

 

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and

heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,

and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind , a teacher

said,

 

'Don't worry, they all go through this stage, and then you can sit back,

relax and enjoy them.'

 

My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

 

 

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to

ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, 'They're

trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop

worrying. They'll be adults.'

 

My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

 

 

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was

still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There was

nothing I could do about it.

 

My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

 

 

I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their

frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.

 

 

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and

lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my

mother's warm smile and her occasional, 'You look pale. Are you all

right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about

something?'

 

 

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern

for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human

frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a

virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

 

 

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, 'Where

were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered. I was

worried.'

 

I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

[Medb48 0]

That was very touching.

[luvmydad 10]

This was the perfect post for me today. My teenage (14) son is driving me insane this past couple of months. I am beginning to think he is determined to put me through every possible trial he can possibly think of. At least now I know that one day I can get him back!!!