Is it rude to ask someone how much weight they've lost?

[loser 0]

We've all experienced people noticing our weight loss, which feels great!

 

But how do you respond when someone asks how much weight you've lost? Isn't weight a personal statistic? I mean, if I tell someone I lost 100lbs (I haven't!), then they can guess that I weighed a lot before...

 

Normally when someone asks, I just say 'oh, a little' and change the subject. But yesterday, a coworker who I don't work with often or know very well (and intimidates me because she is 5'11" and is a stick) asked if I had lost weight. I gave my standard 'oh, yes, a little'. She pressed and said "when you say 'a little' how much do you mean?" I got all flustered, because I didn't really want to tell her. It's not her business how much weight I've lost! Then she said 'Well, it must be more than 'a little'." How do you go back on 'a little' and say oh, well, I suppose 43 pounds is not really 'a little'? LOL I ended up saying "oh, some" and luckily she carried on walking to the microwave to pop her popcorn.

 

So, is it rude to ask how much weight a person's lost?

[CrystalRose 0]

In my opinion, it is rude! A person could comment on how good you look, or how "fit" you look, something like that . . . and if you want to tell them you've lost X number of pounds, that's fine. But they should NOT ask how much you've lost - unless maybe it's someone you are very close to that you exchange personal info with all the time - and in that case, she'd probably already know how much you've lost.

[marge2 10]

Lots of friends have seen I have lost 50#. They just say, "You look great." I say "thank you" and offer the # of pounds if I wish.

[bluwleopard 10]

IMHO it is extremely rude for anyone to ask exactly how much...well ok except when my personal trainer asks...he needs to know in order to adjust the workout...but other than him.... yeah seriously rude.

[wwbabe28 10]

Personally I think it is very rude because that is kind of like asking a woman her age . I think it is perfectly okay to say "WOW you look great, are you losing weight?" but not to ask for a specific number or anything like that. Next time stick girl asks if you are losing weight ask her if she's put on a pound or two that should send her running .

 

PS congrats on your weight loss so far your doing awesome!!!

[dinahmom 0]

Oh, I suppose it's rude, but it's just a number. Basically it's no one's business, but I have no problem telling people. For me, it's about being honest with myself. But, maybe I've got boundary issues...

kd

[chefbna 10]

If it's someone I know, I dont care so I tell them... if it is someone I don't know or don't want to tell I just smile and say " Why do you ask??" That shuts up all but the really dumb/rude people.

[Orison 10]

I don't really think it's that rude. I think people do it because they think it's awesome how much you've lost! People at work ask me all the time and I have no problem telling them that I lost 35lbs and did it on weight watchers. If I can tell my story to someone and it inspires them to lose weight then that's awesome!!!

[WWCarol 0]

Rude. Definitely rude. Right up there with, "How much money do you make?" or "How much did it cost?"...

[Pugdad Michael 10]

I don't really think it's that rude. I think people do it because they think it's awesome how much you've lost! People at work ask me all the time and I have no problem telling them that I lost 35lbs and did it on weight watchers. If I can tell my story to someone and it inspires them to lose weight then that's awesome!!!

 

This is how I feel, too.

 

I mean... it IS a bit rude to ask. I prefer the, "Do you mind if I ask how much you lost?" over the, "How much have you lost?" Either way, I suppose a person can answer, "I'd rather not say".

 

BUT... I'm darn proud of my weight loss and will tell anyone who's interested (and even those who aren't!) how much I lost!

[shrinky 0]

It is kind of rude, though I think sometimes people are so impressed with someone else's weight loss that they are dying to know the details! It's hard because weight is so personal, and yet losing (or gaining) a chunk of it isn't something you can really hide. But she was rude to push it -- you answered her and confirmed you lost weight & didn't volunteer any more info. She probably didn't mean any harm by prodding, but I think in that sort of situation it's MORE than appropriate for you to respond, "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable discussing something so personal to me."

[Guest mom2twingems]

I dont feel that it is rude, at least not to me. I guess it depends upon the person and how they feel. I might ask a stranger at WW class only because I think it is exciting to see that it works and generally most people dont mind saying. When I lost 30 or more pounds I will be glad to tell everyone. The people asking must have seen me or know me from when I was fat so they already know that I was big before so Im shouting it from the rooftops.

[Casey4 10]

I'm in the not rude camp. If someone asks, I proudly tell them. I think it's obvious that I weighed a lot before, so by telling them how much I lost isn't like it would be breaking news for them to realize that I was fat before.

 

It's like somone asking how tall I am. Do people think of that as rude?

[JessieT 10]

Rude. Definitely rude. Right up there with, "How much money do you make?" or "How much did it cost?"...

or "Did you take fertility drugs?" I'm always amazed when strangers ask me that (I have twins).

 

 

I do think it's rude to ask someone exactly how much they lost. I think it personally bothers me because the person who asks usually goes on and on about how much weight that is, how much better I look etc., to the point where I think I must have really looked horrible before!

I'd love to tell people to MYOB when they ask that, but I'm a chicken and have begun to say "I don't know, because I don't weigh myself."

[youngfrankenstein 0]

Oops, double post!

For my fantastic reply, please see below!

[youngfrankenstein 0]

I would not be offended if asked, however, I probably wouldn't ask because I think other's are not me!

 

I would say that most people would volunteer their stats when discussing how great they looked if they wanted you to know.

 

I'm with Tracie about asking her about gaining some weight!

[Green Lady 10]

I am glad this came up, because I never really thought about it. I don't think I have ever asked anyone that question, but might have sometime in the future, not even thinking it was inappropriate.

 

I don't mind people asking me. But don't ask me my weight!

 

Thanks for your input, everyone.

 

Carmen

[Luanne 0]

I guess when people know you are on a weight loss journey, and are purposely trying to lose weight the question (in their minds) isn't rude. Now, it would be rude if someone asked after not seeing you for awhile how much weight you'd gained.

[Aim_is_my_name 0]

If you think it's rude you could always say "If it were any of your business, you would already know the answer to that." But that's kind of extreme too. LOL

[LawDawg 0]

I think it depends on how it is asked.

 

To say "WOW you have lost weight and you look fantastic." May be meant in a supportive way but the other person may think "Gosh did I look so bad before?" and they dont hear it the way it was intended.

 

I think in your example your co-worker was being rude. You didn't want to give a number so to push was simply rude. But to ask initally wasn't rude if asked for the right reasons.

 

I don't know I am not one that is easily offended either.

[CrystalRose 0]

If you think it's rude you could always say "If it were any of your business, you would already know the answer to that." But that's kind of extreme too. LOL

 

I agree that it may be extreme to say that - but I think that retort has a lot of wisdom in it - the truth is, that for just about any personal question you can think of, if it were any of the questioner's business, or if the person being asked wanted that person to know - he or she would be told (or would have already been told) without having to ask.

 

While it's true that people who know you can look at you and tell if you've gained/lost weight, that doesn't make it okay to ask for specifics as to "how much". I've told a couple of people (who asked) how much I've lost and they acted shocked - they thought I could not possibly have "ever weighed THAT MUCH"! That kind of thing has taught me that if they are rude enough to ask, they also may make rude statements after you answer their original rude question. So, anyone who doesn't get the information from me voluntarily had better not ask.

[Casey4 10]

To me, it's more rude to reply with a none of your business type of reply than the orignal question is. I think most would view it as an innocent question, or just trying to make friendly conversation and would probably wonder why they were replied to in such a matter. If it bothered me that much, I think I'd say something like I haven't gotten on the scale lately or I'm trying to focus on my health not the numbers, but thank you for noticing my weight loss.

[RainyBabie 10]

I get asked this all the time - I used to just say "a little" but I've given up - most of the gals in my office are on WW so they ask all the time. I just tell them now. Not my favorite conversation though - but I think they're asking as a positive thing - not to be rude.

 

I'm with Carmen - definately don't ask my actual weight!! I'm not telling - and trust me its a lot more than you think!

[petite2be 10]

I agree with LawDawg about it depends on how they are asking it. I get the question alot and do not mind sharing it with people who seem to be asking in a positive way. However, I recently decided to just say "over 100 pounds."

 

What I consider very rude is the people who ask how much I have lost and then say how much more do you want to lose? Ok-if I say I have lost 123 and I have 56 more to go then you can add up and know I had about 180 to lose. It wouldn't take a math wizard to come up with about how much I weighed to begin with.

 

I never ever answer how much more I want to lose except with something like "2 pounds" because that really is my next goal (125 pounds lost).

 

I get asked what size pants I wear, is my "intimate" life better, etc. You just wouldn't believe the stupid stuff I get asked by people who really don't know me.

[petite2be 10]

I meant to add my all time favorite question....

 

"So, how does your husband feel about your weight loss?"

 

I want to snap everytime I get asked it and that is at least once per week.

 

There is no way that I am going to believe that there is a legitimate reason for someone to know this. Honestly, I have never asked him how he feels. If he is happy about it-wonderful! If he is unhappy about it-too darn bad! He supports me in this journey. I don't need to know how he "feels about it." And if I don't need to know then no one else does either.

 

Climbing off my soap box now.

 

Lisa