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Church Bloopers

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You gotta love church bulletin writers. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

 

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

 

3. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

 

4. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

 

5. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

 

6. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

 

7. Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

 

8. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

 

9. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

 

10. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

 

11. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

 

12. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

 

13. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge ! - Up Yours!"


Veronica

 

SW 136

CW 131

WWG 115

PG 105

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Guest Aditswimbug

8 and 9 are unbelievably funny!

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Guest BeanBlossom

Holy cow that was funny! Thanks for the laugh.

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