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LonestarLesa

Man down!

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I posted this on 100+ but I need your help too:

I have PM'd a couple of you and confessed my heart. Now, I am going public.

I NEED HELP!

As I told you guys I PM'd I don't usually ask for help. I am very independent, very self contained, very confident most days that I can do what I set my mind to do.

 

However, I am not succeeding at this. I have read CW’s many posts on if you do WW a little you will lose a little. I have heard and said all the positive things to others and myself telling me it only matters that you get up more times than you fell.

 

I DO NOT want to go backwards, I DO NOT want to gain, I DO NOT want to half “A” it. I am tired; I am tired of starting each morning just to fail by the end of the day. I am tired of feeling defeated. I am tired of watching the scale creep up, and creep down, and creep up. I am tired of looking at myself in the mirror and feeling disappointed with what I see.

 

Don’t get me wrong, it is not like I am saying I am ready to stop….that is not it at all.

I am just frustrated, tired, exhausted, disgusted, and scared.

 

I can’t seem to get this moving again. Lately I have been eating breakfast at 9:30, lunch at 1:30 and then snacking up most of my points after work because I am starving, so I have come up with this plan:

 

 

I go to work at 6:00 AM. I am going to eat breakfast by 7:30 am, I will have a carb and a protein to try to fill me up. At 9:30am I will have a snack. At 11:30 am I will have another small snack. At 1:30 I will have lunch, I am supposed to get off of work at 3:45 but it is usually closer to 4:45pm I get home around 5:00pm, so I will exercise. I will do weight training 3 days a week, I will do cardio 5 days a week. On weight training days I will either incorporate a FIRM weight/cardio or I will do a 30 minute cardio just to top it off. All in all I plan on working out 45-60 minutes each day. At 7pm I will eat dinner.

 

It still has me going a long time from my lunch until dinner, but I have been told I need to let a couple of hours pass from when I eat until when I work out, and then an hour from when I work out until I eat….(don’t know, but that is the wisdom I am trying to benefit from here.)

 

I still drink my water, I have started taking a vitamin…(last week on a regular basis). I have learned that if most of my points come from carbs I don’t lose well.

 

Guys, I need help. So I am going to share my email address:

lesatomlin@yahoo.com; ltomlin@bleufishmedia.com

 

If you don’t see me, email me. I check them at least once a week to make sure my mom and dad are alive LOL. Don’t allow me to slip through the cracks, I don’t feel like I add much to the board right now, but I do believe I can again.

 

For the first time since I started: I am scared!


HW: 297/ RESTART: 207.8/ CW: 205.6 / WWG: 146

 

10/18/2011: RESTART

:bcb_mad:*RNT is not an excuse.....it is a challenge!

 

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(((((Lesa))))) hugs for you. Come on, you can do this! I know it's hard when you don't have a lot to lose and the pounds stick like glue. But, you know how to do this. You have always worked the program and figured out a way to be innovative, creative and successful! You know what I just had for dinner? Pizza salad! Guess where that idea came from?? :bcb_grin Yes, you!! I lurked on the Commandos for a long time and read once how you were going to cut up a piece of pizza and add it to a salad to stretch it. I have been doing that on pizza night here ever since. Great idea, it has helped me tremendously. :bcb_up

 

My point is, you know how to work the program. Find a way to make it work. Make your daily mantra, "How can I make this work for me?" If you need food to eat during the afternoon, make some 0pt soup to bring to work. Go through your old journals and find your best weeks and duplicate all the meals. Make up some kind of a challenge for yourself with exercise. Pretend you're giving advice to another buddy; what would you tell them? Post on BCB for accountability every night before going to bed .

 

I'm sure you will get lots of great suggestions. Hopefully something will help you get that fire back. I'll say it again - you can do this. You have been an inspiration to so many people, both on the boards and those just reading. :salut

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You may have seen this already but I thought of it while reading your post through again.

 

 

Boy, don't we all just get sick and tired of counting points and having to

always worry about what we're putting in our mouths, when we're going to

exercise and if I have to glug one more glass of water, I think I'll puke

 

I think it's very 'normal' to feel this way at times. So how do you combat

those feelings to keep going?

 

For me, it's rather simple...I ask myself the following:

 

Health: What's more tiring? Counting points and exercising OR counting out

the number of pills I'd have to take due to high blood pressure / high

cholesterol / Type II Diabetes? What's more tiring? Counting points and

exercising or recouping from a heart attack or stroke?

 

Physically: What's more tiring? Worrying about when I'm going to exercise OR

being embarrassed to wear a swim suit? What's more tiring? Exercising or not

being able to walk for a mile with my DH on the beach?

 

Emotionally: What's more tiring? Counting points and exercising OR having no

self-confidence to meet new people? What's more tiring? Counting points and

exercising OR not feeling like stepping out of the house because I have

nothing to wear that fits me right or looks good on me.

.

 

You have shown your supurb strength time and time again. Sometimes you just need to remember what got us started.

I will put on an old shirt that was my favorite when I was 3x. It reminds me of that time and that person. We are no longer those people and our job has changed. Going back is not part of the equation but we do sometimes need to remember the path...

You know how to do this. We just need to reconnect you to 'why'.

CW


AS LONG AS I DON'T QUIT, I CANNOT FAIL

 

B4 & After: http://www.healthdiscovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=202124

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Lesa, your post could have been mine a few weeks ago.... it's also mine this morning. I was doing the same thing as you for months. I was on program all day, sometimes even having an on program dinner, then binging on whatever was available till I fell asleep. After a year of "dieting" I was down 6 pounds.... which is exactly what I lost the first week. It was up and down all year making essentially no progress. My boyfriend couldn't understand how I measure everything, count points, exercise regularly, etc. and haven't lost any weight. Of course I hid the binging behavior from him, and blamed it on our weekend indulgences going out to dinner, my thyroid or new meds my Doc had started me on.

I recommitted to WW on Nov. 1st and was doing great till last night. I had a more stressful day then usual at work, came home too tired to exercise, and wanted "comfort food" for dinner. I ate earlier then usual. Had chili on a baked potato and chocolate pudding with cool whip. My total points for the day was 20. My target with no exercise.

I wasn't hungry, but for some reason the unopened box of Kashi crackers in my pantry was calling me. I fought it for about 20 minutes, then measured out 15 crackers. I could have used two WPA's for them, but then ate the rest of the box with way too much cheese. Then I ate a second serving of SF FF chocolate pudding and polished off the container of Cool Whip Free. Then I went to bed. I'm not typing this as a confession. It's a plea for how I can stop this vicious cycle. I keep trying, but keep sabotaging myself. I even started the Beck Diet Solution, got to day 2 and blew it. Of course I woke up this morning feeling guilty and remorseful. I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of starting over, tired of having to diet since I was 5 years old (I'm 55 now), and still not willing to stop trying. Again this morning I'm starting over.

I could write more, but it's 6 AM and I've got to get ready for work. I'm already running late.

I've got a plan, and once again.... I'm going to stick to it. Man down here too, but getting up.. RIGHT NOW.

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If it's not working for you then something needs to change. Let's figure out what that something is and make it a change for the better, not a change back to the old lifestyle.

 

You mentioned that you start each day OP and fail by the end of the day. Can you give us a few examples of these "failures'? Why do you think they happen? Do you finish off your points at dinner time and then get hungry again before bed?

 

Before I started WW, I made a list of the reasons I wanted to lose weight. I also made a list of reasons not to lose weight. The first list was very long and the second list was short, and centered on foods I like. If I reach a point where I'm ready to quit, I'm pulling out that list again to remind myself why I do this.


flex_really_tiny.jpg FLEX since 8/21/07 | MO Platoon member #11 | See my slideshow

 

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Thank you all for your encouragement and your suggestions.

I am working on incorporating some of them into my life, like for instance I did eat before I left for work today. YAY me!

 

I have a terrible headache, so I have not worked out, I don’t get headaches a lot and when I do they can slip into a migraine real easy, so I am laying low tonight.

 

I am going to include my menu today; I did not go over my points: I have 2 pts left, I think I will have a piece of fruit to finish it off.

 

 

24pts for the day:

 

5:00 am Breakfast: (3pt rounded up)

Egg beater (1pt)

½ slice WW cheese (0.5pt)

English Muffin (1pt)

 

8:30 am Snack: (4pts)

½ c Oatmeal

½ c peaches

l/f yogurt

 

12:00 noon Snack (1pt)

carrots

cherry tomatoes

Hummus (1pt)

 

1:30 pm Lunch (4pt)

Chicken Soup (4pt)

 

6:30 pm Dinner (8pts)

Sandwich (4pts)

WW Cheese (1pt)

Baked Lays (2pts)

SF Pudding (1pt)

 

8:00 pm Snack (2pts)

100 Calorie Snack Pack


HW: 297/ RESTART: 207.8/ CW: 205.6 / WWG: 146

 

10/18/2011: RESTART

:bcb_mad:*RNT is not an excuse.....it is a challenge!

 

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Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I read Lesa's post and found myself in the same place. I posted, and my plan was to get right back on track. I did fine all day at work, but on my way home the compulsive binge thoughts started going through my head and I tried to fight them off. It wasn't easy for me and I was on my way to Target. I had pretty much decided, "screw it, I'm gonna eat, I don't care. I didn't know what, but it was going to be a food orgy for sure". Well... In the same shopping center where Target is, they just opened a brand new 24 hr Fitness. I decided before going to Target I was going to check out the new gym. Well, I took a tour. Was given the sales pitch and a 7 day pass. I decided I was going to go back and take the Zumba class at 6:30. As I was walking towards my car, thought to myself. You don't need to blow it again today. Why do something that's just going to make you feel bad? So I got in my car and went home. I changed my clothes and went back to the gym. I did an awesome Zumba class, and then attempted to do a Yoga class. I really had trouble with the Yoga. I'm not very flexible and the positions the instructor was directing were just too uncomfortable for me. About 15 minutes through the class I left. I went home, had dinner and turned what would have been a disasterous day into a success. I got up this morning and got on the scale. I was up a pound because I had a high sodium day yesterday. (but stayed within my point range). I ate my 20 points, plus the 3 AP's I earned) My one night binge the night before cost me 3.5 pounds. The discouraging part is because of one bad evening, I'm almost back where I started on Nov. 1st. I know it's mostly water. I can feel it in my wrists and fingers, but I feel like this up and down is the story of my life. One I want to rewrite. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's really difficult.

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Guest healthydays

CW can probably better comment on this but as I looked at your menu I was thinking that maybe it would help you to add in some more fresh fruit like oranges or apples for their bulk. I also was thinking you might want to add in a little fat such as from peanut butter or a little olive oil in a stir-fry with veggies. I saw you had hummus but 1 point worth is not very much. I know for me I gotta have my bulk to keep me from being hungry and if I don't get enough fat I am also hungry. I am learning though that just a little fat can go a long way to keep hunger away.

 

I hope this helps.

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Thank you for reviewing my menu. I was wondering about the fat content. I noticed that my hair has started to thin a bit.....OK a lot for me, and I have posted about it before....I wondered if the fat could be an issue.

 

Lesa


HW: 297/ RESTART: 207.8/ CW: 205.6 / WWG: 146

 

10/18/2011: RESTART

:bcb_mad:*RNT is not an excuse.....it is a challenge!

 

LTtransformation.jpg

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wow Lesa, your pictures are awesome. You really look like a different person. You were pretty then, but you're beautiful now. Way to go !!!!

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I agree! You look amazing!!


Be careful of your thoughts, for your thought become your words.

Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.

Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.

Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.

Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.

Author unknown

 

http://laurdee.blogspot.com

 

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Hi Lesa, I just wanted to say you ARE succeeding. As one of those fiercely independent, do it myself types I know how tough it must have been to reach out and ask for help. It shows how much you have changed and how much you have succeeded. This journey is much like the rollercoaster you couldn't fit on before. It goes fast, it goes slow, there are ups and downs. You're at the bottom of the hill now, but rest assured, you'll be making that climb again soon.

 

Do you attend meetings? The new WW program is coming out the week of December 7th. There's nothing like something new and different to shake things up and get you remotivated.

 

Best of luck to you.

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Thank you so much....I am trying with all my might to "Get it GOING" again. I think it is the just doing the same ole, same ole that is what is wrong with me.

 

I know what I want, I know how to get it, and now it just has to be done! I can do this...I WILL DO THIS!

 

Lesa


HW: 297/ RESTART: 207.8/ CW: 205.6 / WWG: 146

 

10/18/2011: RESTART

:bcb_mad:*RNT is not an excuse.....it is a challenge!

 

LTtransformation.jpg

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I know for me that when I feel like this...hungry, craving, etc. I am usually getting ready to lose weight, and to detox a bit. Sometimes there's an emotional component, but not always. Sometimes when I am feeling this way I have to reduce my carbs a little, and up the protein, but the good news is these cycles always end. I always figure they're permanent, but its always short term. Good luck and hang in there!

 

Elle


[sIGPIC][/sIGPIC]

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Guest GrandmaLaura57

I have a couple of things to say.... I have my moments where being OP is a chore and a half!!

 

"Fake it 'til you make it"!! Just keep going on with the plan. Keeping that one in mind has gotten me over many a hurdle!!

 

"Go easy on yourself"!! I'm not saying to heed the call of the red zone foods,but none of us are perfect and we don't work the program perfectly all the time.....

 

I need to be reminded of that once in a while and your post helped me more than you could ever know!! Thanks!!

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