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Determining how much you should weigh/choosing a goal weight

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The weekly thread got me thinking about this. I think we often have it backwards. We *pick* a weight, perhaps before we're even CLOSE to that weight...based on...who...knows...what. What we weighed in high school, what movie stars weigh (that would be scary!)...whatever.

 

I think a healthy weight is one we are very comfortable maintaining. We are eating in a way that we know we can do forever HAPPILY AND we are working out in a way that we can maintain indefinitely (and happily). Of course, you could say this at an unhealthy, HIGH weight...but I don't think that is our problem here. Let's assume that it is within the weight watchers weight range....(not above)...although I think there are people who are probably at healthy weights AND above the ww weight range, if they have REALLY high lean body mass.

 

This isn't a new concept...you don't want to do things to lose that you aren't willing to do forever. GETTING to you "ideal weight" shouldn't be a HUGE STRUGGLE or STAYING there is ALSO going to be a big struggle.

 

That's just the way I think....

 

What do you think?


Lynn

 

I bike for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

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Good topic!

 

I'm gonna' think about this, and respond in the morning, Lynn...

 

I'm heading to bed, and I want to think about it a little bit~

 

:wave: :sleepin:

 

 

.


May you be happy. May you be well. May you be free from suffering.

 

Check out my website! Plant-Powered.com :bcb_smile

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I agree with you, Lynn. I don't think anything is "easy". "Being fat is hard; losing weight is hard; maintaining is hard; choose your hard."

 

But with planning, and putting in the required effort, maintaining should be relatively comfortable, I believe.:salut

 

I got to a weight, personal goal, that I liked. Turns out I was exactly between a 6-8. I felt I needed to DECIDE which I was going to be: I didn't want to have to lose more, but I didn't want to choose the size-8, either.:bcb_confu

 

NEXT time I get there I'm going to realize I'll be happy with the 8 and that'll be that! (Getting to a size-6 was going to be uncomfortable and require more planning/effort than I would want on lifetime maintenance:bcb_down)

 

For some reason, I couldn't see it when I was in the trees...It took time and experience, and standing back...looking at the forest.

 

But now I know. :bcb_smile

 

 

.


May you be happy. May you be well. May you be free from suffering.

 

Check out my website! Plant-Powered.com :bcb_smile

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I think the other thing that should be discussed is what happens to us MENTALLY when, for whatever reason, we just can't get to the weight we set for goal.

 

Perfect example, at my lowest weight, just 2 years ago, I was 143 and a size 8. I wanted to be 135 and a size 6. NO MATTER WHAT I DID, I couldnt lose those last few lbs.

 

So what happened? I got annoyed. I said..I can't be the weight I wanna be, why bother anymore?

 

So here is what happened, I steadily gained weight until my size 10 pants are tight and I'm 20 lbs more than I was when I said "why bother?".

 

Now, looking back at pictures, I looked FINE at 143. That is where I want to be again and this time I'll be HAPPY at that weight.

 

I WAS THERE! But, no, I wasn't satisfied, and when I couldn't get any lower, I basically threw in the towel. It got me 20 lbs back and the realization that 143 is a fine weight for me.

 

So, here I am again. Granted, Im not trying to take off 50 lbs like the first time around, it's *only* 20, but I'm older now and it's difficult. I am struggling, and kicking myself daily for not being happy with where I was.

 

So, as far as not seeing the forest for the trees, Im right there with Carol. Hindsight is always 20/20, but now, at least, I know what my goal *should* be and where I will be happy.


**Sharyn**

"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane!" ~ Jimmy Buffet

 

SW: 169

CW: 161

GW: 140

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I think it would be interesting if we chose our goal weight AFTER we got there...using basically the ideas I put forth above. It is kind of silly to guess at what is a good/ideal/maintainable for life weight without BEING at it!

 

It would essentially be where you hit a plateau but are at a healthy weight for you (vs. hitting a plateau and still being overweight). I realize there are judgment calls involved.

 

As I always say, I basically do what I did in losing mode right now. So you could see this as a plateau OR you could see it as a great place for me to be and stay! If I had believed that I should weigh ten pounds less than I do (which I COULD have believed) then I'd be frustrated at having been at this "plateau" for nearly four years! But instead I believe I am at a good weight for me, it is within my goal range and I happily and quite easily maintain here...

 

This parallels some changes in thinking regarding education/sp education but I won't get into that here!

 

It is essentially about solving/resolving the eating problems. Doing the right things in terms of eating and activity and seeing where that gets you and then deciding THAT is your ideal/goal weight.

 

A goal weight that is maintainable with a lifestyle that is acceptable and desirable for LIFE!


Lynn

 

I bike for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

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I think it would be interesting if we chose our goal weight AFTER we got there...using basically the ideas I put forth above. It is kind of silly to guess at what is a good/ideal/maintainable for life weight without BEING at it!

 

 

The first day, the first time I went to WW, I was asked to pick a goal weight. Oh, surprise! I had no clue. The gal said, "pick a weight you'd like to be at, and make it a few lbs. higher, so it won't be to hard to get to." OK.

 

3 years ago, I reached goal weight in 3 months, and was very happy with my WW experience. BUT I was pre menopausal. I was able to work in my yard, toting bushes, pushing wheelbarrows of dirt, etc. 2 very big metabolic positives that I don't now have.

 

Time. fast forward 3 years and you cannot help but notice the changes. You cannot expect things to be the same as they once were. It's harder now. I compare my ww booklet and, wow! I had a loss every week but one 3 years ago.

 

Sharyn, I've never been less than size 8-10. Ever. Even when I was in high school. I have apple shape and remember being scolded by the weigh in people at Elaine Powers (remember them?) For being 120 lbs and having a 29 inch waist. They wanted my waistline smaller. That was after I lost 20 lbs down from 140. I was only 23 years old, and I knew, it AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. Even now it's a 31" (If I hold it in.) At my age, gravity and those sands of time are shifting downward. I have to shop in stores that understand a woman's body, not a girl's body.

 

For those of us with kids, pregnancy plays havoc with the body. I'd love to have my old bust line back, well, I can, just with the help of underwires!

 

So, I try to change what I can, and accept what I cannot.


~Nancy in SJ

 

HW 152

CW 144

GW 138

 

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend, inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

 

www.englishsetterrescue.org

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Sharyn that is HUGELY my point. We strive for this idea of what we should weigh and are upset at not being there and make ourselves miserable over it physically, mentally and otherwise, and then we end up engaging in behaviors that are WILDLY unproductive (i.e., overeating, underexercising and gaining more weight!)

 

I have struggled with my weight and with food since I was a kid. I was never very overweight but seriously messed up in terms of my relationship with food etc. I've always been very muscular and weighed a lot for my size too so maybe that has helped me not have unrealistic weight goals. For example, the last time I weighed 125 I was 12 years old and people did not think I was overweight. I know I stop getting my period if I get to the mid or lower 130s, due to lack of body fat. I'm not far from that right now...anyway, that's a darned good sign you've gone too low. As I careen toward menopause I won't have the sign for long though.

 

I also know that ww, in the olden days, (yes I was around ww then too) had ridiculously low goal weights. I am SO fortunate I did not reach mine in my twenties. It would be totally unhealthy for me now!!! AND of course you focused on your goal weight from the moment you joined. Also unhealthy, mentally.

 

Remember, we ARE supposed to have some body fat! It is where estrogen is stored. I sometimes wonder if we won't someday find out there are terrible ramifications for getting rid of too much body fat!

 

This is all about setting unattainable goals for ourselves. I am all for setting high goals for myself. But I prefer to make them ACTIVITY goals...they have a way of really helping with weight loss/maintenance!!!!

 

Personally, I would never set a goal that is about a particular size clothing. That would be like setting a "height" goal for myself:bcb_bigsm!

 

Why not set goals that are about BEHAVIOR. I know we've said it here recently, perhaps in this thread. Activity and OP eating goals are behavior goals. They are the "cause" of the end result (weight loss, fitness, etc.) that we want. We don't directly control the result (clothing size, weight, etc.) but we DO directly control the behavior that leads to those things. We just can't control the exact results.


Lynn

 

I bike for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

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I agree that controlling our behavior towards food and having a healthy relationship is THE KEY to MAINTAINING our weight.

 

I, apparantly, still do not have a healthy relationship with food or I wouldnt have gained back 20 lbs. If I had continued to eat in the manner in which I had lost the weight to begin with, I wouldnt be back trying to lose weight again.

 

I am trying to forgive myself for this, but I am having a heck of a time. I think my weight loss will become easier if I could stop BEATING MYSELF UP and feeding my brain with NEGATIVE comments (we've all said em to ourselves) ona daily basis.

 

The bottom line is, I worked SO HARD to lose it, and because I couldnt get to the magical weight I had set for myself in my head, I threw in the towel, and now Im just downright PISSED and DISGUSTED with myself.

 

:)

 

Ok, all vented out now!


**Sharyn**

"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane!" ~ Jimmy Buffet

 

SW: 169

CW: 161

GW: 140

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This is all about setting unattainable goals for ourselves. I am all for setting high goals for myself. But I prefer to make them ACTIVITY goals...they have a way of really helping with weight loss/maintenance!!!!

 

Personally, I would never set a goal that is about a particular size clothing. That would be like setting a "height" goal for myself:bcb_bigsm!

 

Why not set goals that are about BEHAVIOR. I know we've said it here recently, perhaps in this thread. Activity and OP eating goals are behavior goals. They are the "cause" of the end result (weight loss, fitness, etc.) that we want. We don't directly control the result (clothing size, weight, etc.) but we DO directly control the behavior that leads to those things. We just can't control the exact results.

 

I'm a long ways from goal, but this discussion is great. I think getting so caught up in the numbers and the exact results has been a big part of my struggle. I'd get derailed by what I'd think wasn't a big enough loss for my efforts, by "getting away with" a loss despite being off track (so why get back on track?), by how far goal is away and how long it's going to take, etc. The numbers/results have been central for so long. I really love Lynn's idea about setting goals that are about behavior, rather than the results.

 

I collect quotes and comments from the boards here and from other sources for inspiration. Here is one that speaks directly to what Lynn is talking about here:

 

So don't force the numbers. They'll come. Here is your job today: adhere to a winning pattern of action that you know will produce results if you follow it consistently. That's all. And if you do that today, congratulate yourself as a winner. If instead, you insist on measuring your success by whether or not the scale or caliper show progress today, you're creating a game you can lose. In Steven Covey's words, you're putting yourself in the position of trying to manage consequences rather than actions. You'll never get a reliable sense of confidence that way. Look, you're following a program that works. Do troubleshoot. Do review your workouts, food choices, portion sizes, and meal plans. But make every day a game you can win. –hussmanfitness.org


Aimee

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So don't force the numbers. They'll come. Here is your job today: adhere to a winning pattern of action that you know will produce results if you follow it consistently. That's all. And if you do that today, congratulate yourself as a winner. If instead, you insist on measuring your success by whether or not the scale or caliper show progress today, you're creating a game you can lose. In Steven Covey's words, you're putting yourself in the position of trying to manage consequences rather than actions. You'll never get a reliable sense of confidence that way. Look, you're following a program that works. Do troubleshoot. Do review your workouts, food choices, portion sizes, and meal plans. But make every day a game you can win. –hussmanfitness.org

 

Ooh Aimee I love this! I might make it into a bookmark for my ww members!


Lynn

 

I bike for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

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Thanks for reading my mind!

As I just adjusted my goal weight from the lowest for my hight to the weight that I feel is good for me, this is perfect timing.

When I changed the goal in e-tools , I felt like I was "cheating" ( 3 lbs difference) but my decision was based on

how good I felt and it made sense to listen to my body. I am also one of these people shaped like pear and can only

achieve size 6 if I weight less that 120. And it's a struggle to maintain that weight for me.

I reached that weight last year and maintained it for a few months but I didn't feel great.

Being skinny was not the answer. It's a learning curve. And Pandorra, I also gained 20+ lbs after I gave up last time.

Much less to loose than the first or 2nd time I got back on program. But still, not fun.

This time I also didn't push so hard.

I knew I could do it again and let it take it's time.

Thanks buddies.


Ninka

 

Back to loosing a few lbs over goal...

Finding the perfect balance...one meal at the time...

I can do it!

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I am trying to forgive myself for this, but I am having a heck of a time. I think my weight loss will become easier if I could stop BEATING MYSELF UP and feeding my brain with NEGATIVE comments (we've all said em to ourselves) on a daily basis.

 

The bottom line is, I worked SO HARD to lose it, and because I couldnt get to the magical weight I had set for myself in my head, I threw in the towel, and now Im just downright PISSED and DISGUSTED with myself.

 

:)

 

Ok, all vented out now!

 

What would you say to someone you love who had done the same thing, and felt the same way?...

 

 

 

 

.


May you be happy. May you be well. May you be free from suffering.

 

Check out my website! Plant-Powered.com :bcb_smile

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I really don't know how to answer this and keep myself happy. I gave up the number and am going for how I look in clothes. The number is actually 5 lbs higher than the higher goal weight for my height. My leader and I chose it because I really think I am done losing.

 

Now I might be able to get those 5 lbs down, really. But right now I am bones everywhere. I sit and sleep on a sheepskin because my tail and hip bones rub on the surface and ache all night. My arms and legs are thinner than they have ever been. BECAUSE I have never exercised before an lo and behold it works. Thin but not toned. I'll settle for thin right now.

 

So I am pretty OK at 168 lbs. But I hate the actual number. I am a big gal even for 5'8 1/2" Not Amazonian but big, and so far I am carrying this weight well. My leader says do not concentrate on the number. How do you feel? Can you get lower? Do you need to or just want to?

 

I won't even begin to discuss sizes. I am fine in size 14 jeans, Gee it's better than the 32 I was. I won't aim for size. I aim for that smile on my doctor's face and that gigantic hug she gives me when she sees me. I aim for the decent blood pressure and cholesterol. That has to be what I aim for.

 

I hope I am correct and I dearly hope I can keep this up. I learned so much and have enlisted SO MANY people to support me. I certainly will keep this up. (not according to Oprah or Kirstie Alley today though,)

Why don't they just do Weight Watchers and be smart?

Peg


 

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Peg- The numbness will pass as you get used to your "new" body. For *months* I had a hard time sleeping because I'd lost my hip padding and the nerves would keep falling asleep at night. I'd lie on my left side and wake up with that numbness and tingling. IT HURT! I'd turn to my right side and wake up a few hours later to the same thing! :crazy: I started sleeping on my stomach and it was actually more comfortable since my boobs were smaller and so was my stomach. I used to almost upchuck when I'd sleep on my stomach before from the belly fat pressure! :bcb_sick: Now it works quite well. Lately I've been able to sleep on my sides and not have my hips so sore. I switched back to my buckwheat hull pillow and that made a WORLD of difference! :bcb_up

 

 

My thoughts on this post in general are that I agree. I'm not looking at the number so much anymore. I would like to hit 140lbs at some point just so I can officially join the Century Club. But if my body doesn't want to go there, I won't force it. I'm not going to starve myself to get to a weight I can't maintain. At the same time, it's hard to tell whether or not I can maintain the weight when I haven't gotten there!! My problem hasn't been that I've hit a true physical plateau so much as I've hit a mental plateau here and there which has resulted in gaining and losing the same pounds over and over. If I were staying OP and simply not losing any weight, I'd probably "give up" and establish a maintenance range. So, I'm going to take a longer range view, focus on staying OP (probably with Flex, eating filling foods, just to keep me "honest") and see what happens over the summer. If my body doesn't want to go much lower than it is, so be it. No harm in trying. I have some areas I'd like to target for fat loss and other areas to target for muscle building so that's more my focus at this point!! :bcb_up


Kimberley

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Guest BeanBlossom

I love this thread. It's just what I needed today. You reminded me why I'm doing this. Funny enough, I realized that I have 20 pounds to goal, but I'm actually the opposite of most people. I tend to have a really low goal and I realize 100% that in 12 or 15 pounds I might be totally content and stay right there. I've changed my goal weight like a thousand times!

 

My real goal is to be comfortable in my clothes and comfortable in my skin. I want to look the way I feel, and that isn't a size 2 in my head (suprisingly enough). I am a full-on hour glass figure so I'm blessed in the waist department, but I make up for it in my thighs! Shopping for shorts in torture!

 

So all in all I just want to hit that point where I go "Yep, I like it here, this is nice". I'm already married so it's not like I'm on the hunt - as my husband likes to remind me whenever I start griping:bcb_grin:bcb_grin:bcb_grin

 

I like to remind him that I'm always hunting him down though! (I've got this major crush on my husband)

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I have been painting the outside of my house all week- and this is the first time I have had any time to sit and read here. DH has the girls at gymnastics, and the boys are downstairs playing a game.

This thread is EXACTLY what I needed to read tonight.

 

I have lost 87 pounds. I have been a size 6 for 8 months now. I am between 22-23% body fat. Blood pressure is perfect,low cholesterol,etc. I feel great. I get compliments daily from DH and the kids.

I still am beating myself up that it is not enough.

I want to be happy here, to set daily behavior goals that will keep me here for life.

Why the constant "have to do more, have to be smaller??" Makes me so discouraged. I hop on the scale after a perfect OP week, and nothing. I hop on the scale after a less than perfect week and nothing.

I really have to come to grips that this may be my magic number. REALLY.

Some of you seem so confident, and happy where you are.

I want that.

I want to stop stressing over it and just do each day what I need to be healthy and happy where I am.

I really DO need to set myself up for success daily.

I am going to think about this, and really try to give myself this gift.

Thanks for all the input, Buddies


Bridget

SW 230

CW 151.8:bcb_march

GW 130

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I hope I am correct and I dearly hope I can keep this up. I learned so much and have enlisted SO MANY people to support me. I certainly will keep this up. (not according to Oprah or Kirstie Alley today though,)

Why don't they just do Weight Watchers and be smart?

Peg

 

It was easy to learn that Kirstie's all about other things; she wants to look like someone else. She's kicking herself now that she wasn't happy with where she was in her bikini...and so she gained it ALL BACK. :bcb_huh:

 

Put her exercise equipment into the garage, and stopped exercising.:bcb_huh:

 

Then, there was the 1,100 pound man who lost 900+ pounds! Guiness Book Of World Records. And then? GAINED IT ALL BACK. :bcb_huh:

 

Both Kirstie and this guy are going to lose again. In fact Kirstie lost 25 pounds in 5 weeks...and is going to use this "secret" to start her OWN Weight Loss Program...:bcb_huh:

 

I think we have a PERFECT OPPORTUNITY HERE, with WWLynn's observations and information, to not go down the rose-colored-path that many do.

 

I loved, Lynn, where you said: "If I had believed that I should weigh ten pounds less than I do (which I COULD have believed) then I'd be frustrated at having been at this "plateau" for nearly four years!

 

But instead I believe I am at a good weight for me, it is within my goal range and I happily and quite easily maintain here..." :salut

 

Lots of good things to think about here in this thread~ :bcb_smile

 

 

.


May you be happy. May you be well. May you be free from suffering.

 

Check out my website! Plant-Powered.com :bcb_smile

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread...very good thoughts and information!

I chose not to go down that rose colored path! :bcbkickbu

Thank you again Buddies!


~*Melodee*~

 

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Hi Folks,

 

Bumping this up, because I found it and thought that it was another great thread from WWLynn!

 

I have lost weight 3 times since I have been an adult.... and gained varying amounts back. I did it twice on my own, just by eating little fat, small meals and doing lots of exercise... and then due to different events (divorce, moving to a different country) I gained about 20-30 lbs each time.

 

Last time, I did it with Flex, and maintained it off for a few years. It was the first time I HADN'T just found a comfortable plateau to end up at, but rather decided on a predetermined end weight, which happened to be the low weight from about 5 years before. It wasn't a smart low weight b/c I really had only mantained that low weight for a year or so when I was doing a huge amount of exercise, riding my bike for transportation and swimming an hour a day... plus eating a really low fat diet!

 

So, like a lot of you guys, I never made it to my personal goal weight 124, though I did make it to my WWGW of 131. This time, I instinctively knew that even 131 was kind of low... so I set it at 135, which is just under the 25 BMI for height, and a few lbs under the ww rec. for my height and age.

 

I am confident that it is a good weight, though I think that my body may prefer a few lbs higher? I feel like it is hard to know, since my eating habits can so easily slide into a pattern that equals 155 lbs, rather than 135!

 

Problem was, I got sick of counting points, and abandoned it! I slowly gained about 20 lbs over two years when I went back to grad school, in addition to my full time teaching job. So, now I am back, doing SFT, and feeling like it is a lifetime eating plan that I can stick with.

 

I think that this time, though, I will stop reaching for unrealistic goals, b/c like someone mentioned earlier on this thread, I looked at pictures of myself at 131, when I know I was still very dissatisfied, and realized that I was lovely, and very, very fit looking. Ahhh, to be there again!

 

Five lbs to go!


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I love all the posts on this subject. We do need to listen to our bodies. Why is there not a chart for middle aged people? I think those insurance charts are for 16 year olds! lol

 

I know with me being so short i should be like 115. I would have so much trouble maintaining that weight if i even wanted to get that low. I would be very confortable with the 140 i am setting myself with. I plan on replacing most of my fat with muscle and i know that weighs more.

I do have something very interesting to say. Back in my young teenager days i weighed 110 at my lowest weight and wore a size 6/7. I would restrict my calories to be that thin...My DD who has been so differently educated is about 115 pounds and wears a size 2! The difference is she runs and worksout..pretty much eats whats she wants but does not eat fast food or much junk. That is a hugh difference between her and me..and she has never had a weight issue in her 16 years of life. lol

Its really not the scale number...but how you feel and look.The scales does not determine you size either. Just my 2 cents worth. lol


Rhonda

sw 222.2 cw 217.2 mg 165 gw 140

 

 

 

 

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Thanks everyone for the great reading. thedoodr - I really agree with you. I think my WW goal would be 160 (and that's the highest). I have never broached the subject with the leader because that is much too unrealistic for me. I will never be able to maintain that. My long term goal is 180 but for now I am trying to just maintain the loss that I have had so far. I would like to be thinner but I am much more interested in staying the weight that I am for now. I have lost and gained back 3 people in my life - I should be in the dictionary as the description of the yo-yo dieter.


Live, laugh, love and be happy.

 

Starting Weight: 237

Current Weight: 203.5

My Goal Weight: 180

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I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread...very good thoughts and information!

I chose not to go down that rose colored path! :bcbkickbu

Thank you again Buddies!

 

I read, "Thank you again, Buddhas"! :bcb_grin

 

Probably because there is so much wise-thinking in this thread...! :bcb_up

 

I will finish reading all the posts when I get back from errands. Great food-for-thought. :salut

 

 

.


May you be happy. May you be well. May you be free from suffering.

 

Check out my website! Plant-Powered.com :bcb_smile

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

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This is a great thread! I too have a very distinct scale number of 150 in my head for goal, but given my age and menopausal condition (ha!ha!) that might not be attainable or maintainable without severe calorie restiction...hmm...food for thought (no pun intented :bcb_grin)


Kelli from MN

 

"change happens one day at a time"

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Guest Aditswimbug

What a wealth of information in this post! Getting obsessed with numbers can defintely sabatoge you, i experianced this when i reached my goal weight almost two years ago. I had my heart set on 125 (even though i knew my body liked to be at 129) and once I got to 125, guess what? "Well," I said, "how low can I go?" It had become a game, and although I liked the way I looked, I had the whole 'thinner is better' mentality. Guess what? I fell off the wagon just a couple months after making goal and gained it all (20 lbs) back, plus an extra 10. This time around, it is much more about my clothes/appearance than about the scale. I think that's a healthier way to go about it--if you can appreciate the way your body looks/feels, the muscle weight on the scale won't be a problem. I am back at goal weight now, and am working on developing some muscle. If I gain some weight from that, I'm confident that I will simply look better.

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