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Ginaki

Some Groaner Puns

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1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

 

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

 

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

 

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

 

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

 

15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

 

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

 

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

 

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.


Lifetimer since April 2001

195/135/150WW

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