Struggling to Change

[katiasasha 10]

I am so frustrated with myself. I've been doing WW on and off for YEARS, and am closest to my heaviest weight ever. Clearly those have been half-hearted, inconsistent efforts...I know the program works if you work it. I just haven't found the motivation, drive, willingness, or whatever you want to call it, to stick to it more than a few days at a time. I get a few OP days under my belt, and then I have a slip, and then I struggle for days or weeks to get back on track, only to start the cycle all over again. I have started over, rejoined meetings, sworn that this is the day I really commit, etc. SO many times that it's just embarrassing. Worst of all, I've just completely lost confidence in my ability to really follow the program and lose weight. I know believing that I can do it is really key, but I just can't seem to find that belief in myself after so many YEARS of failed, on-again/off-again attempts. I hate being this size and all of the issues that go along with being obese, and am so down on myself. I know it's up to me--that it takes really making a decision and a commitment and doing all of the hard work to make it happen, but I just can't seem to find the inner strength or willingness or whatever to actually do that for more than a few days at a time, and yet I'm miserable staying the same. Anyway, I'm not really sure what I'm asking. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone has any suggestions or advice or experience to share.

[CW 10]

I'm thinking, plan for the slip.

Set a goal of being OP for 4 days, eating all your daily and your Activity Points then have a reward day where you use 8 or 10 of your WPA.

There is no guilt when the treat is planned and earned. That makes it taste even better.

CW

[SSKatie 0]

Aiimee, you have two choices. We all have two choices:

 

1. Take it upon yourself to not make it a big deal, like "it's all or nothing now!!" but just start right now following the plan by buying the things you need, getting your journal/notebook out and recording what you eat, posting on a daily thread here, etc. Start to live the program that you know you lose weight on, and learn to do recipe makeovers of the calorie-full stuff that you like. Go along each day as a winner not a struggler ("struggling" sounds so helpless, doesn't it?).

 

2. Settle into the fact that you're going to gain more weight, and just be content with it. People do that, you know.

 

All we need to do is pick #1, or pick #2.

[Guest Hearts&Flowers]

I know exactly what you are talking about. I wish I had all the money I've given to WW over the years! I even made goal and could not make it the six weeks to reach lifetime in 1998. I finally made lifetime in 2001 and then gained every pound back (and then some) only to "start all over again" six or seven times since then.

 

But...this time around is different. Why? Well, this time around I have given myself permission not to be perfect. I'm eating all of my WPA and AP's so I'm staying fuller. In the past I've been so ruled by the scale that I would do almost anything to lose, including go way under points the day before my weigh-in. I've decided to eat healthful foods that are filling and not worry so much about the scale.

 

I consider myself a great cook and to be honest it's my favorite hobby. So instead of waiting until I lose weight to cook again, I'm finding wonderful recipes that are low in points and also a bit "gourmet". I even have my husband cooking along with me. I really convinced him with a homemade pizza dough from a WW cookbook we made last week. It was so good and so much fun and in the end I had a 14 point dinner. No big deal. The old me never ate 14 points all at once while OP.

 

I really do know how you feel and hope something that I have said will give you an idea for your new program. Keep at it. You are here and that's the main thing. You have my 100% support and I'll be your buddy if you need me...

[Chihuahua-lily 10]

I'm feeling just so tired of all of this WW thing! I know, Im so close to goal but you know what? Some days I just want to stop counting and eat whatever I want. I started the program on February and it is July and I'm still following it? I tired. But I also know that I will be much more unhappy If I throw the towel and gain the weight back! I need to fight back until it's easy for me to stay OP ( all the days of the YEAR!) I hope one day WW will become my lifestyle....

 

But, I woud say to you: FIGHT BACK!! To be on a diet is hard but it is also hard being fat we all know that!

[Guest Bonnie13]

Like the idea of "plan for the slip". This site is so huge because change is hard-we need support- Hang is there- if we quit, we know what happens.

[katiasasha 10]

Thanks so much for all of the great replies. I really do appreciate all of the support here and learn so much from those of you who are actually living this. Probably most importantly, you show that it can be done!

 

I'm working on changing my negative, defeatist thinking. When I give in to that, I'm on the fast track to a bad place.

 

I spent a long time in a bookstore yesterday reading all kinds of health books, and many inspiring accounts of people having lost weight. So much of it does seem to be a "head game" in terms of shifting thinking, and at the same time, "just doing it."

 

I came home to an Amazon package of a cookbook I had ordered a while ago. It was much more than a cookbook! It is Joan Lunden's Healthy Cooking cookbook, and the entire first half of the book is her inspiring story. After a million tries, she ended up losing 50 lbs. and keeping it off. She talks a lot about the attitude and inner changes she had to make along the way. Anyway, I've truncated the passage to include what I thought were the best parts:

 

"...You can do anything you set your mind to...you can find happiness right there, inside you. You can't wait for good things to happen to you; you have to make them happen. You have to stop weighing every option, fearing failure, and get up off your butt and just do it...If you want to be someone who fulfills your dreams, you have to stop talking about them and live them. Without action, there is no change; and without change, there is no growth. Change affects growth, and you are in complete control of both. You can't sit around waiting for the planets to be aligned or to suddenly feel more confident or to just be in the mood to get started. The fastest way I know to make things happen is to just dive in headfirst...At some point you have to decide that you believe you can do it and that you're committed to the fact that it's really important. There's a certain leap of faith that you just have to take. And interestingly, what that decision does in the end is give you the ability to take more leaps of faith, to try other things. You need to get some successes under your belt to know you can do them...When you get happy with youself, when you feel fit and healthy, you walk into a room a different person. People react to you in a different way. Your life changes. When you finally zip open your cocoon and emerge at the other end of that metamorphosis, what's so amazing is that your life has changed; you are a renewed person. And your array of options from which to choose is so much more fun and exciting."

 

Thanks again to everyone here!