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  1. Pam thank you for the info. I am SUPER hyper. My TSH level is a 0 currently. So not good. My doctor has me on Synthroid and we cannot get to where I need to be. I am going to keep working at it and hope it calms down. I had a huge drop in weight and than one day it started coming back on. SO frustrating. I am also going to step away from the scale and know I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to make this work. It will happen!!
  2. The medications I am taking are typically helpful in losing weight!??! Ha. Lucky me. I gained again this week, 7.5#s in a month. Not good, I have no idea what to do other than to continue to follow plan and exercise, needless to say I am less than happy about it.
  3. I do journal and I write everything down in sequence of how I feel what I can do to solve the issue and or porblem and ways to avoid things in the future. I am seeing a grief therapist along with my husband for the cancer and they said that a lot of the time when someone is ill they cling to the few things they feel they have control over because you cannot control an illness which obviously I have fallen into. Yes I am "freaking out" and probably blowing things out of proportion in my mind I cannot rationalize a 5# gain in week without falling off the wagon. I am/was looking for answer like I am in many aspects of life. I think I needed a sounding board and I never claimed to be 100% mentally sane, or unfragile my life is taking some twisting roads right now which probably does not have me focused.
  4. Carol thanks for the input. I have tried to look at it from every angle possible. For me there is not a positive spin on this. I feel like a failure. WW's has my goal at 165 and I am quickly approaching that every time I get on the scale. How does someone gain 5#s in a week following plan? I am beat down and I am tired and I have maintained within a 4# range other than pregnancy for 5 years last month. All of the sudden I am gaining like mad. I can try to eat more, I have tried that in the past and I gain, I have tried to eat less and I gain too. This past few months I have tried EVERYTHING under the sun to get to my personal goal and it WILL not happen.
  5. Thank you again to everyone who posted. I weighed myself again this morning and I am up another 1.5#, I have gained 4+#s this week. To no avail. I have honestly tried everything and pretty much broke down on the way to work this morning I have never cried so hard. I have spent the last 5 years of my life devoting every ounce of emotion I had into losing this weight, keeping it off and moving forward. I took the Lifestyle change to heart. I do not cheat plan, I work it like it has never been worked before and I exercise more than anyone I know on the planet. How am I shown that my work is paying off? By feeling heavy, and gaining 10#s over the last two months. I am honestly devestated. I understand I am at a healthy weight for my height, but I am not at a healthy weight for my head and I am hurting. No other way to describe it.
  6. Thank you Sarah. I chose to train people who were morbidly obese because I knew that some people in a gym have a hard time taking a larger person seriously. My mantra was they walked into a gym therefore they are trying. My body may be hanging on to the last few#s because it needs it or it maybe because I just am going to be this weight. I need a goal, I do not think at this point I would slide all the way back but I don't even want to find out. So therefore I have always had a goal. Thank you very much for the support and kind words.
  7. Kim I wish I could say I were a size 2, I am a size 8-10-12 depends on who's makin em! LOL. I am very muscular. Very. I run mainly on inclines when training and than 4 a day on a personal level with tempo and speed training mixed in there. I also lift, and do a LOT of ab work. I have a very large frame. Polish gene's DARN them. I am in the same boat. I eat like a flea and can look *skinny* in my mind (most people tell me I look sick) or I can eat what I am supposed to and feel like I am a faliure. When shopping I still run over and look at an xlarge, or a large and my husband always is right behind me picking up a small or an xtrasmall. So I know I am not seeing the new Jodi in the mirror and I also know I may never see her. To me I pick at my body more than I did at 300#s the irony of this is I thought I was a LOOOOOOOOKER at 300+, I had more self-confidence than I ever have at that weight. Mental game and I need to win at that too. Here are some photos: http://www.slide.com/r/pAbTFMwB5T-rbPDAb_kOY7mrPeLkCWmh?previous_view=mscd_embedded_url&view=original
  8. The funny thing is I do train people and I understand when they are frustrated and simply can't get it through my own thick head what is going on. Monique you are right it is very hard to sustain the weight. I do look fit, because I am and I need to keep reminding myself of that. I don't think I have ever come out of weight loss mode and maybe there is my issue. I feel *and I get that this is screwed up* that when I am not losing I am not winning KWIM? So much of my time on WW's was spent losing I never really see that I have "finished" my task there. Maintenance is not something I struggle with I suppose, I completed maintenance and than got to my personal goal and have been Lifetime now for sometime. My leader feels I need to loose and well she is not a "thin" person herself. So I have all of these conflicting ideas of where I am supposed to be including my own views. I am thankful for all the feedback folks, I really am. I need to see I have succeed in some of this.
  9. I am trying to *hear* what people are saying. You are correct WW's says that their program is more than the # on the scale but we have to WI to gauge our body's responses to what we are working towards. I never once said that I am there mentally with the whole thing. Losing half a person, getting sick and the other factors of life has obviously taken it's toll. I do not and will not have an eating disorder. I see the # on the scale and decide daily to REMAIN on track with my points, my exercise and EAT regardless of if it is showing or not on the scale. I am confused as to why this has happened. Curious as to if anyone else has had this happen and trying to come to terms with it. I live in an aread where I do not know a sole other than my husband (who is 400#s and comfortable being that weight) and my daughter who is 1 years old and not much of a galpal yet to talk to. This is a mental battle for me, my leader at my meetings has not been of much help - She thinks I should continue to try and loose so I came here.
  10. Thank you Amanda. I am sure facing what I am facing is not helping things. Sometimes when people are faced with an illness like myself they cling to the one thing that they were good at considering you can't fix cancer. You can treat it, hopefully move on from it but it is not within you're control what so ever. For me I focused on the things that made me a *healthier* person to start with because I would not be where I am today if I had not taken care of myself. I am sorry for bombarding the board with my ?
  11. I have tried eating at different times, different foods etc. I eat very clean, alost all organic and never overly processed foods. I also get in my oils and guidelines. I am not a big night time snacker because I simply don't have time time. I feel like I am fueling my body enough and have reviewed my journal with my doctor and leader so I am confused there. My body does not want to stay at 150, it seems everytime I get there within a short amount of time I am headed right back up to 155ish. Being a smaller size doesn't really make me feel any different and 5-7#s nobody can notice for me because I cannot make and keep my PERSONAL goal I am not happy, I feel that regardless of the 136#s I have lost, I have failed. Because I cannot get to where I *think* I should be able to get on the scale.
  12. This is what I look like body wise.
  13. I am not sure what my issue is. I am 5'8 and have a large frame to begin with. I am not a small girl and most likely never will be. My clothes fit fine, and I am more fit than I ever have been. I would not have been able to run 4 miles even when I hit goal. Now I can. My doctor thinks my body may be confused. I was 300#s now I am 155ish #s and I have cancer so it is trying to hang on to everything it has. The # itself is what is screwing me up. When I think of as a fit or *skinny* person I do not think of 158 being that #. I am not sure what else I can do other than to keep doing what I am to make this work.
  14. Hello all. I started ww's in 2004 weighing in at 300#s. My goal weight at the time was 158#s. I made that goal in 18 months with a lot of hard work and determination. During the past 5 years I have moved 8 times, been diagnosed with cancer, had surgery, had a baby and gotten married. Talk about a lot of lifestyle changes. Through it all I have kept my workouts up, kept journaling and following plan to a T. During my pregnancy I walked and was on my treadmill the morning I went into labor. I am very active. I reset my goal to be 150#s after I had my daughter (she was born 3/18/08) and I got there within 9 months. I actually got to 147 for a very short period of time. Over two months time I am fluxing between 154-157#s and cannot get past that mark. My cancer was in my thyroid and it was removed and is still present in the lymphnodes. I currently am in Hyper mode with my thyroid so weight GAIN should not be an issue but it is. I continue to work out (run 3-4miles) per day and do not think I am building new muscle as I am pretty muscular to begin with. I am eating my daily points and some of my flexies. I have tried everything upping my flexpoints, downing them, trying new foods, eating 6 mini meals a day, I drink a ton of water, get in all of my requirements and so on. I am still gaining weight. I am running 2 5ks here back to back this summer and a bunch more organized events to *celebrate* my weight loss and success. But the weight gain? I am so hurt, stummped and shocked that my body is NOT letting me get past this point. Why was 158#s ok in the beginning of this for me? Now that has changed? I cannot accept it. I found my *happy weight* via my doctors advice and it is 157#s. I can't not eat, and I have been doing this long enough to know that wouldn't help anyway. What else can I do? Drop more points? Add? Workout more?!?! I am in a gym or running 7 days per week (by choice). My medications are not alerting my weight (or so my doctor says). I am not retaining a bunch of water (according to my scale) But I am at my wits ends. HELP
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