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Everything posted by RedLeslie

  1. I went digital 2 months ago and I sure am glad I did. I got a Good Cook brand scale (about $30 at Walmart but I returned that when I found the same thing at my grocery store HEB for $24). It does what everyone says thier digital does. I love the built in tare- I just lift off the bowl (a large rectangle actually) and put my plate on it and it zeroes out the weight of the plate; then I put my food on it. This feature alone saves me tons of dishwashing time! I always hated having to wash the weighing dish that came with my old scale, especially when I was weighing a bunch of different stuff in rapid succession.
  2. A retorical question, for all you girls ... (and some of you men-folk!)... who still like to gaze off into the sunset/sunrise and dream a little dream, every once in a while... WHERE WOULD YOU BE: IF - YOU HAD ALL THE MONEY YOUR HEART DESIRES? IF - YOU HAD NO WORRIES? IF - YOU CAME HOME AND THE FINEST MEAL IS AWAITING YOU IF - YOUR BATHWATER HAD BEEN RUN? IF - YOU HAD THE PERFECT KIDS? IF - YOUR PARTNER WAS AWAITING YOU, WITH OPEN ARMS AND KISSES? SO, WHERE WOULD YOU BE? Well...... HELLOOooo!!!!!!!!! YOU'D BE IN THE WRONG HOUSE!
  3. Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. [font=Times New Roman]Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. [/font]
  4. RedLeslie


    Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: 'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.' ************************** In a Podiatrist's office: 'Time wounds all heels.' ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels ************************** At a Proctologist's door: 'To expedite your visit please back in.' ************************** On a Plumber's truck: 'We repair what your husband fixed.' ************************** On another Plumber's truck: 'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..' ************************** On a Church's Billboard: '7 days without God makes one weak.' ************************** At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : 'Invite us to your next blowout.' ************************** At a Towing company: 'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.' ************************** On an Electrician's truck: 'Let us remove your shorts.' ************************** In a Nonsmoking Area: 'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.' ************************** On a Maternity Room door: 'Push. Push. Push.' ************************** At an Optometrist's Office: 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.' ************************** On a Taxidermist's window: 'We really know our stuff.' ************************** On a Fence: 'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!' ************************** At a Car Dealership: 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.' ************************** Outside a Muffler Shop: 'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.' ************************** In a Veterinarian's waiting room: 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!' ************************** At the Electric Company 'We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.' ************************** In a Restaurant window: 'Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.' ************************** In the front yard of a Funeral Home: 'Drive carefully. We'll wait.' ************************** At a Propane Filling Station: 'Thank heaven for little grills.' ************************** And don't forget the sign at a [font=Times New Roman]Chicago[/font] Radiator Shop: 'Best place in town to take a leak.'
  5. >Nine words women use... > >1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are >right and you need to shut up. > >2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. >Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more >minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. > >3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, >and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing >usually end in fine. > >4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! > >5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement >often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an >idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing >with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) > >6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women >can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard >before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. > >7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say >you're welcome. > >8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying &*^$ YOU! > >9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning >this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but >is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's >wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.
  6. 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 6.. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive. 7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing. 11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, Why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 17.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it! 18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 19.. Procrastinate Now! 20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With that? 21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 24..They call it PMS because MadCow disease was already taken. 25..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. 26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music. 29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson 30.. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
  7. Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost $499 or $599 depending on size. This has been hailed as a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them!
  8. Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark.. ONE: Don't miss the boat. TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat. THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big. FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done. SIX: Build your future on high ground. SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs. EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage... The snails were on board with the cheetahs. NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile. TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals. ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting. My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. Please pass this to people you want to be blessed. Give it! don't just get it. Most people walk in and out of your life........but FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart.!!
  9. RedLeslie

    A Riddle

    You are in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop > off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), > and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as > you. In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as > your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra. > Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you. > What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? > > > Scroll down... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > * Stand Up and Get Your Drunken Butt Off the Carousel!*
  10. I found these today at Walmart. OMG! They're great!
  11. Did you eat enough at lunch? You might need to have more protein to help tide you over during the midafternoon munchies. Are there any emotional or political issues at work that might be triggering you? Were you bored and this was your solution? When you hoovered the kitchen, were you really hankering for something in particular but were denying yourself? There could be a variety of reasons for your actions. You need to dig deeper as to the why of it. If its not something as simple as needing more lunch, you need to identify the problem and make a plan of attack. Be prepared- have healthy snacks available. If saying no to bad food is a problem, don't have it available! If you have a problem with portions, get some of those 100 calories pack goodies. The act of taking a second bag might be enough to stop you (or, at least, slow you down). If you've been longing for something in particular, have it in moderation and be done with it. Good luck!
  12. Dear Tide: I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product. Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.
  13. True Friendship (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!) Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - just the stone cold truth of our friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry b***** who made you that way. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got lucky. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay the heck away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have! 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you. 9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask, 'Because you are my friend.' Friendship is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. Send this to 'ALL 10 or more' of your girlfriends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me...I don't want to hear it!!!) And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me!
  14. I like to have a Kashi Honey Almond Flax TLC bar and a ton of water (I down my 32 oz. mug of water). Fills me up for hours.
  15. Sun Chips also makes Cheddar Harvest and Garden Salsa. They are great too and also 3 points for 1 ounce.
  16. I think you did great. They don't have Friendly's here in Texas and I miss it terribly. Of course, what I miss is their hot fudge sundae so I guess it's a good thing I'm not in Massachusetts anymore!
  17. Probably not going to help you but I just LOVE it cooked in my little rotissary. I put a rub on it (oregano, garlic, pepper and anything else that tickles my fancy). Yum!
  18. Welcome! Good to have you here! When I work 3rd shift, I start my points when I get up for my "day." I don't think WW has an official stance on this. If I'm wrong, someone with more experience will post. We're glad to have you join us.
  19. Ok- I'm going to open a can of worms now- wouldn't it be more accurate to calculate points based on the NI for the whole recipe rather than points per ingredient due to the cap on fiber? This has been bouncing around in the back of my mind for a while now so I'm curious about how everyone feels about this.
  20. I absolutely adore this recipe: 1/3 c flour 1/4 tsp garlic powder 1/4 tsp pepper 1/4 tsp paprika 24 ozs chicken breast, no skin, no bone, R-T-C 1/2 cup egg whites, lightly beaten 2 cups corn flakes, coarsely crushed Vegetable cooking spray 26 ounce can spaghetti sauce, Hunts Garlic & Herb 3 ozs mozzarella cheese, part skim milk, shredded 1. Combine the first 4 ingredients in a shallow dish. Dredge each piece of chicken in the flour mixture. Dip each piece of chicken in egg whites; dredge in cornflakes 2. Arrange chicken in a 13 x 9-inch baking dish coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350° for 25 minutes or until crisp. 3. Place spaghetti sauce in a medium saucepan, and cook over medium heat until thoroughly heated. Pour sauce over chicken, and sprinkle with cheese. Bake an additional 5 minutes or until cheese melts. Yield: 6 servings; 5 points per serving. I got this from the recipe forum (here, I think!) but I've not been able to 're-find' it. My thanks to the original post person! PS: Even my DS- who eats nothing but junk food- loved this!
  21. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and described Doughboy lovingly as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He also is survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
  22. Boca burger or Morningstar Farms veggie burger (I just love the tomato and basil one by Morningstar Farms) on a Natures Own whitewheat bun, side salad and if I'm feeling decadent, Pringles or Ruffles Light (with Olestra). I cook the burgers on my indoor electric grill and they taste great (I couldn't live without that grill). The bonus is it's fast and easy.
  23. Laughed out loud! Sending this to all my buddies. Sad part is I've worked with several of these people!
  24. WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. WOMEN'S REVENGE "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. MARRIAGE SEMINAR While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it? CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string o n the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your ! wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!) WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the B ible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote o n a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only y to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for! these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
  25. I was hunting for this today without success. I did, however, find a jar of Wyler's sodium free Chicken instant boullion. Nice to have options for a change.
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